questioning God's existence

I don't think that I will ever truly understand God, but frankly I am ok with that. I am ok with not being able to describe something so unbelievably indescribable because why would I want to limit my God to my human words? He is so much more than any word or words that I could come up with.

You may be wondering what is the purpose and meaning of my title and what is that strange picture on the top right; or maybe you have heard of laminin and can already guess what I might write about. Before I begin to explain, I feel as though I should preface this blog with this: I was always raised in a loving home, but I remember a time in my life when I questioned God's existence. I remember crying in my room and saying, "there is no possible way that there is a God" and feeling so unbelievably alone. Each person has a different story to tell and I am forever grateful and in awe of the way that God has transformed my life.

Recently, I was on a mini-staff retreat with my church and in one of our sessions, we watched a sermon by a guy with the last name Giglio [the first name slips me, sorry]. Now, I have heard many times about the "size of the universe" and "all the things that my body does without me knowing," but this sermon mentioned something I have never heard before [maybe you have]. It talked about our body having a certain cell body that we could not possibly live without, because to put in simple terms: it is the glue that holds everything inside of us together. LAMININ. Laminin is a cell structure composed of three parts: "b" chain, "g" chain, and an "a" chain. This cell structure is the "glue" in a sense that holds all the cells we have in our body together. [You can see the picture of this in the top right corner of my blog.]

Notice the shape of this "glue." Notice it is made up of THREE parts. Hmmm...it would appear to be in the shape of a cross and coincidentally, our God is a triune God meaning he is also made up of three parts; Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. With all of this information, it would seem impossible for one to read this and still be able to question God's existence. Believe me, had I heard this back when I was struggling with the mere concept of God, it would have been extremely hard for me to continue to think that there was no God.

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authority; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things HOLD TOGETHER" (Colossians 1:15-17). ALL THINGS HOLD TOGETHER.

Do you realize that there are tens of thousands of these little cross-shaped Laminin in your body? God designed us this way from the very beginning. How can people hear things like this and still not believe? Better yet, how can one look out into the ocean; witness something miraculous like a baby being born; watch the sun rise or set; or simply see someone as broken as I used to be, transform into something that continuously leaves me without words; and still be able to question God's existence? God is an omniscient [infinitely aware, complete knowledge], omnipresent [present at all times], and omnipotent [almighty] God. He is indescribable and we are truly undeserved of His mercy and grace.